Motorhoming with Merton and Webster

LAKE DISTRICT

Episode 2

Suki and Paul are in the Lake District, the first time they have ever had a holiday there. The journey begins with a ridiculously strong cup of coffee while the rain lashes down but they will need a kick start as they are planning lots of wild activities on this trip. Their first destination is Kendal but first they have to negotiate if their motorhome can actually fit under a low bridge – Paul gets out and carefully guides Suki through but it is a close call. In Kendal they decide to get another energy burst by going to the Kendal Mint cake factory but Paul gets them lost so Suki takes over and actually asks for directions.

At the factory they buy a lot of mint cake and Suki has a massive sugar rush whilst marveling at the scenery. After crossing Lake Windermere on the Bowness ferry they head to a beautiful campsite on Coniston Water. Here they can’t help but notice a stunning vintage air-steam motorhome parked up. They get chatting to the owners Matt and Lamara and hear how they painstakingly restored it from a derelict ruin to a five star luxury home on four wheels.

After breakfast the following day Paul and Suki take on their first outdoor pursuit of wild swimming. Despite their wet suits and boots they can’t handle the cold and Suki exits after the shortest swim on record leaving Paul in hysterics. After warming up in the shower the next activity is a hike with a local photographer called Steve on a stunning walk overlooking Grasmere and at the summit the views are glorious.
The final activity is less challenging – canoeing across the beautiful Derwent water with adventurists Dan and Becky to an St Herbert island which inspired Beatrix Potter.

SOMERSET

Episode 3

Paul and Suki head for Somerset on the next leg of their grand UK tour in their motorhome now officially christened Captain Narrow squeak. Their first destination is Minehead where they charter a fishing boat and much to their surprise land a small haul of fish for their supper except they don’t have the heart to keep them, so throw them all back. As they head to their first campsite near Weston Super Mare they get caught in traffic and to relieve the boredom Suki tells Paul that Captain Narrow Squeak at night is actually a super hero whose super power is to empty fellow motorhomer’s chemical toilets. They arrive at their beautiful lakeside campsite and pitch up. Here they meet hipster van lifers Alex and Emma who converted their campervan entirely from scratch and on a stunning hill top walk they meet passionate birdwatcher and photographer Martin and talk about the local birdlife you can spot. The day ends with a cosy fish, chips and mushy peas in the motorhome.

The following morning Paul attempts to help Suki cook a fry up but largely just gets in the way, but the breakfast fuels them up for the next leg of their Somerset tour. After driving through the impressive Cheddar Gorge they visit a motor museum at Ariel motors who also make high speed off road buggies called a Nomad. Much to his surprise Paul ends up riding in one and hates every second whilst Suki absolutely loves it.
Their final stop is in deepest cider country at a cider farm where they are invited to wild camp meaning they can both tuck into some tasting. The evening ends on top of a beautiful hill where Paul and Suki toast Somerset with a 360 view of the Somerset levels.

WALES

Episode 4

Paul and Suki go international and venture into Wales and the Brecon Beacons national park for the next instalment of their UK motorhoming adventure. After a breathtaking drive over Sarn Helen they arrive at their first port of call, sheep trekking with local farmer Paul and his daughter Nicola. They also have a go at shearing a sheep and Suki especially enjoys feeding the lambs with some milk.

After a very narrow miss with a car on a narrow country lane they arrive at Langorse lake and meet fellow motorhome enthusiasts Anita and Tom who invite Paul and Suki to ride their tandem bike, with mixed success. The following morning, they go for an idyllic walk to the Lake shore which has various Arthurian legends to its legacy. Paul attempts to pull a sword out of the stone but it won’t budge and he tells Suki he is more “hernia than an Arthur”.

Suki nervously reveals to Paul she has lined up a high-speed activity for them, a motor-trike ride over the black mountains which gives Paul “a fear hump”. However, their first stop is more sedate, foraging with local experts Dawn and Steve in Hay on Wye. The plan is to search for ingredients for a wild camping supper and their luck is in, – finding wild garlic, mushrooms and nettles which Suki bravely picks with her bare hands.

Suki and Paul arrive at the top of the famous Black Mountain pass and meet Andy who runs motorbike trike rides. Despite Paul’s initial worries he enjoys being driven around this legendary road that is a mecca for petrol heads. Paul and Suki’s Wales adventure ends with cooking their foraged food and eating it outside as the sun sets over the extraordinary mountain landscape.

PEAK DISTRICT

Episode 5

Paul and Suki are in the glorious Peak District on their UK staycation adventure in their trusty motorhome. The first morning finds them in a campsite north of Bakewell and they debate who should empty the on-board loo. Given that Suki has done the lions’ share of cooking and washing up it falls to Paul to do the deed with Suki offering some cheerleading support.

As they set off Suki reveals they are swapping four wheels for two after hiring some bikes on the nearby Monsal trail, a former disused railway line. After picking up their bikes Paul is overjoyed that the bikes are actually electric and easy to ride along the track. They are joined by local former Team GB Olympian Rob Hayles who waxes lyrical about electric bikes and the impressive scenery, especially the dramatic Monsal Viaduct which at seventy feet above the ground is a challenge for Paul and Suki’s vertigo.

Back in the motorhome the next destination is beautiful Bakewell and a chance to buy the towns famous pudding. However, Paul decides to make one himself in the motorhome’s oven. It is a culinary and messy challenge but with a little bit of help from Suki Paul’s pudding is a delicious triumph.
The following day starts with a drive to Derwent water, where the dam-busters practiced their daring raid on Germany in WWII using the famous bouncing bomb. Their final journey sees them heading through the breathtaking and somewhat hair raising drive along Snake Pass, the highest road in the Peak District. They eventually arrive at a falconry centre where they meet owner and trainer Gareth and Suki and get hands on with Edwig the snowy owl who starred in the Harry Potter films and a Harris Hawk.

Norfolk

Episode 6

Paul and Suki visit Norfolk for the final leg of their motorhoming grand tour of the UK. Their first stop off is Gt Yarmouth’s quieter neighbor - Gorleston-On-Sea, with its 3 miles of award winning golden sandy beach and traditional Victorian seaside holiday vibe – including a Punch and Judy show. The draw of going behind the scenes of that famous stripy red and white tent is too much for the comedian couple and they introduce themselves to puppet master Daniel and discover the puppetry’s satirical roots before doing their own show.

The whole seaside experience reminds Paul of his own childhood and he fondly recalls early memories staying in a nearby holiday camp, falling in love with its showbiz glamour and convincing his parents to return year after year.
There is a brief stop off to seal watch at Horsey, where Suki falls in love with one of this year’s white fluffy pups, before motoring on to the nights’ accommodation at Kelling Heath campsite. The next morning Paul shocks Suki, by finally doing the dishes and they hook up with motor homing veterans Gilly and Doug and discover how to make a motorhome feel more homely.
The final visit of the Grand tour is a trip on a traditional Norfolk Broads sailing boat called a Wherry where they find themselves put to work raising the sail and keeping it on course.
The couple plan some role-playing to spice up their romantic final night aboard their motor home – and pitch up, for the last time in this series, in a beautiful private field. The sun goes down, the scene is set, but will it be Suki’s “bodice ripper” or Paul’s “health and safety inspector” fantasy that completes their journey in style?

CORNWALL

Episode 7

Paul Merton and wife Suki Webster jump behind the wheel again as they join the thousands of Brits who holiday-at-home on four wheels. This week they head for the stunning county of Cornwall, home to crystal-clear waters, picturesque fishing villages, beautiful beaches, and, of course, pasties. Their first destination is The Lizard - the most southerly point on the British mainland - where they go seal watching. In the afternoon they head out with local fisherman Brett and try their hand (without losing any fingers) catching spider crabs. With pots dropped off and a crustacean bagged for tea they head to their first campsite with a spectacular sea view.

The following day is Paul’s birthday and Suki has a surprise in store – a trip to a family-run vineyard near Penzance, specialising in sparkling wines. The couple meet Tommy to learn how to disgorge a bottle of bubbly and then cork it correctly. With a few bottles as a reward for their hard work they head to Trevallas to one of the oldest campsites in Cornwall, where Suki decorates the motorhome for a birthday party with a difference. With some unique party games, gifts and a ‘cracking’ dinner; it’s a birthday Paul will never forget.

COTSWOLDS

Episode 8

Paul Merton and Suki Webster are off to the Cotswolds. They start their motorhome trip with a step back in time helping Coco Keith with the restoration of a Romany caravan- the motorhomes of their time. Once Paul has perfected his posing and Suki her painting, they head out into the chocolate box county. Known for its honey coloured stone, the couple stop to help Richard and his apprentice Innis build a dry stone wall, before driving to their first off grid campsite. Relying on nature and their own instinctive survival skills, the couple pitch up for the night for an al fresco three course dinner.

The following morning they’re back on the grid and off to the Cotswolds’ answer to Stone Henge – the Rollright stones, where they meet Sharp and Blunt an all female Morris dancing group from nearby Adderbury. Suki is quick to join in and a skip, hop and a jump later, the couple decide to pitch up at Cotswolds Lavender for a spot of lunch. Paul decides to pick his own herbs with ‘alarming’ consequences and the two make a quick getaway to Cotswolds camping in Charlbury.

NEW FOREST

Episode 9

Suki Webster and husband Paul Merton are in the idyllic New Forest, but before they’ve even left, they’ve hit a problem. Their new motorhome is a manual which means Suki is doing all the driving, as Paul only has an automatic licence. The holiday must go on and with Suki behind the wheel they pass through Brockenhurst and decide to get deep into the forest. Parking up they swap four wheels for two, and on a tandem bike meander through the ancient woodland.

Back in Manuel – the motorhome, the couple soon come across the New Forest’s famous inhabitants: its wild ponies. With animal mad Suki keen to get closer to them, they meet ‘commoners’ Tess and Ollie who have earned the right for their ponies to roam freely in the area. With the help of farrier Ben, Suki learns how to remove a horseshoe and take home her own bit of luck.

That evening they pitch up at Long Meadows Campsite for the night and meet motorhomers Nicola and Jonathan. The following day it’s off to some hives in Hythe for a spot of bee keeping, and with honey on board there’s just enough time for one more traditional New Forest activity: archery in Beaulieu, before parking up at Setthorns Campsite for the night.

DEVON

Episode 10

This week husband and wife Paul Merton and Suki Webster are in Devon, famous for its spectacular coastline, pristine beaches, Devonshire cream teas and two national parks. The couple visit one of them: Dartmoor to meet local guide Nick for a Sherlock inspired tour. It was here that Arthur Conan Doyle was inspired to write one of his most famous novels: The Hound of the Baskervilles, but on such a glorious sunny day, it’s a far cry from the spooky mist covered moors in the book. Whilst here Paul and Suki meet Kate and Norman part of the Wheeled Access group, an organization that encourages anyone with a disability to get out and enjoy the area. After a quick tour of Norman’s clever Motorhome adaptation for his mobility scooter, Paul and Suki head to nearby Tavistock to solve the cream team conundrum - jam and then cream, or cream then jam? Only a blind taste test will solve it, so they pitch up at Croyde Bay for the night, one of Devon’s most famous surfing destinations.

The following day the pair decide to recreate their own favourite beach scene, although it’s less Hollywood more Cricklewood, and after a brief paddle they’re off to Merry Harriers Garden Centre, home to over two and a half thousand gnomes. After a tour of the gnome sanctuary Suki and Paul meet Lorna and Chris who have adopted the garden accessories and lend a hand restoring some of the more weather worn ornaments.

SNOWDONIA

Episode 11

Paul Merton and Suki Webster head to Wales this week, on their motorhoming holiday. Driving to the beautiful Snowdonia National Park or Eryri as it is now known in Welsh. Paul is behind the wheel and while the narrow windy roads are making him nervous, Suki’s limerick challenge soon calms him. They pitch up at Lake Bala, Wales’ biggest natural lake and meet Kieran and Kat who have converted an old horse box – Bertha into a family sized motorhome. With the water calling, the duo soon decides to take part in the lake’s many water sports starting with paddle boarding and ending with a little synchronised swimming!

The following day they’re off to the Mach Loop valley – a famous flight path for the RAF fighter pilot training at nearby Anglesey. Once they’ve enjoyed a Top Gun moment, they then drive to their next campsite Bryn Y Gwin, run by artist Ian, who’s perfected the art of painting on swan feathers and so Paul and Suki are invited to join him. Several feathers later the pair settle down for their own take on a drive-in movie. With a projector and large MH they’ve all they need to enjoy a silent film for the night.

YORKSHIRE

Episode 12

Suki Webster and husband Paul Merton are on the final leg of their Motorhoming holiday in God’s Own Country: Yorkshire. Keen to get a taste of the area they head to Masham for a tour around one of its independent breweries, and Dan, the head brewer, shows them how to create the perfect pint. Later that afternoon they head to the famous Tan Hill Inn, for a spectacular view of the dales and a place to stay. They dine in their own private dome and Suki has a Yorkshire pudding she’ll never forget.

The following morning inspired by their woolly neighbours; Paul arranges a sheep dog training session for animal loving Suki. Driving through the Buttertub pass they soon arrive to meet sheep dog trainer Richard, and his four-legged friends Lola, Keith and Sim. With the flock soon in their pen, the couple head to Settle for a lesson in railway signals but not before stopping at the incredible spectacle of the Ribblehead Viaduct. It’s another action-packed day but there’s just enough time for them to get to their campsite for the night at the Dalesbridge, meet Motorhomers Ross and Diane before one last Yorkshire tradition – Wensleydale and fruit cake.